This morning while prepping my next few lessons I was caught by the oddest thought that just thrilled me. I am normal fat.
As in, I can see past my stomach to my thighs.
As in, normal people stores carry sizes that fit me.
As in, my belly doesn’t hang to the sides past my hips anymore.
These are really exciting things.
I know they sound terrible. And if you’ve never been truly fat, I understand why you would be confused.
But imagine being so fat you almost can’t shop in the fat girl stores anymore.
Imagine being so fat, people don’t even make fun of you for being fat, they pretend you don’t exist.
Imagine being so fat, your diabetes is so bad, your kidneys are being damaged and if you don’t do something to reverse the rate of damage your kidneys will fail in the next 2-3 years. Oh and you are not a candidate for the transplant list because you are so fat.
Imagine thinking forget seeing my grandkids, I won’t live to see my child graduate high school. I won’t live to see my child get to high school.
After all that, being normal fat, is super exciting. Actually saying I still have 50 pounds to go, and it not being a lie, is super exciting. Knowing I need a plan for home schooling the kiddo through to college, super exciting (and scary but that’s another post for another time, LOL). Making plans to move to Europe in a few years, because I’ll still be ALIVE, is super exciting.
Yes, I’m fat, normal fat. Go on make fun of me. I’m here. And I will be for a good long time.