Fiendish Friday: The Library

I love our library system. 50 plus branches and your one card will let you check out at any of them. You can return books to any of them. You can download ebooks and audiobooks from anywhere in the world. (Disclaimer, I have only verified this from multiple US locations, Germany, and Holland – but close enough right?)

But like all things, it has a flaw. You can order books from one library to another one. They email you when it arrives and you have one week to pick it up. So, let’s pretend you get a notice that says A Wrinkle in Time is waiting for you at X branch. Your hold expires on October 11th. How long do you have to pick it up?

A) Til closing time on October 11th?

B) Til closing on October 10th?

C) Til a random undisclosed time on October 10th? (earlier than 2PM)

If you guessed A or B, you would be wrong. For the fourth time, I went to pick up a hold the day before it expired only to discover it was already gone. Grrrrr. And no, I didn’t say anything this time because the last three times it happened, the library told me I was crazy, in short. Basically, no that didn’t happen. No, we didn’t. No, you’re wrong. Sure, I’ll buy that the first time. LOL. And it’s always the same branch. When I have books delivered to other branches, I have no problems at all.

Something is wrong at that branch. Something horrifying. I am being denied books. Oh, the horror.

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Fiendish Friday: Nasty Surprise

The kiddo is doing a lot of new things this year. This week was his first survival skills class. I call it that because it’s complicated to explain and the actual title tells you jack. It’s a once a week, 4 hour long class, where the instructor covers teaches things most people don’t do anymore. Make a fire from nothing and keep it going in the rain. Go from tracks on the ground and follow them to the deer.  Built shelter with what’s around you. Find your way in the forest without gps. LOL

Anyway, I am on my way to pick him up from the first day and I’m a little worried about being late. It’s not like this is some school, where he can read a book if mommy is late. This is a trail head I’m collecting him at. So for once, I follow my GPS, which takes me past the high school.

Side Note: I NEVER go past the high school if I can avoid it because it has a 20 speed limit and I got two speeding tickets there the first 6 months we lived here. The problem is there is a stop light at the bottom of a hill and I always get stuck at the light and then accelerate to go up the hill and flash, 23 in a 20, 150 bucks.

But my GPS is insisting that the high school route is ten minutes faster than my usual route. So I go. And a cop steps into the street and makes me stop. Another cop is doing the same on the other side. Interesting. Oh they’re waving those five waiting school buses out into the street. Ok. No big deal. Why the buses can’t go out the stop light side if they need a protected left I don’t know but ok. Only after the five waiting buses go, they don’t let traffic go on the street. Oh, no. They hold us there until all 21 buses get loaded and leave the parking lot.

Anyone want to guess how long it takes for 21 buses to load up and pull out of a parking lot that they have to wind through because they’re all pointing the right direction to go out at the traffic light but aren’t using it?

Fiendish Friday: And I thought dogs were color blind

I have a super cute mutt. He’s a momma’s boy but likes the hubs pretty well. He gives a little daddy’s home woof when my husband arrives home each night.

Today the hubs came home in a new car. Different make, model, and color than the one he left in. The dog went mad. Totally ballistic with his who are you and wtf do you think you are doing at my house bark as the hubs pulled into the garage. Kept right on at it until the hubs walked into the house too.

Huh. And I thought dogs were color blind….who knew they could differentiate make, model, and color. LOL

Fiendish Friday: Murphy’s Law Got Me Again

Let me set the scene for you. Tuesday morning. I think I know where my day is going. Up on time, coffee while puttering around handling stuff at the house.

An hour of yoga, hot, sweaty yoga.

Get the kiddo up, start on home school with him (yes, we home school in the summer too). Before I know it, it’s 940A. I need to leave the house in 20 to 30 minutes at the absolute maximum if I am going to make our first stop on time. Crud home school time warp strikes again.

I still need to get all the things we need for the day together, multiple stops worth. Pack healthy lunches and snacks. Get the kiddo through getting dressed and brushing teeth. And Shower.

No time for all of that. Hrm, decisions. Mental check list. Dropping kiddo off to the climbing gym. No one there is going to notice if I’m in work out clothes and a little smelly. Go to Starbucks to write. I’ll sit outside, that will be fine. Meet friends at Adventure Park, the park where kids get to build things out of wood, in 85 degree weather and lots of dirt. Huh. Shower can wait til after that little adventure. Perfect. I just get everything else done, with a few seconds for extra deodorant.

Meanwhile unbeknownst to me, the office manager at the non profit where we rent space for the coop school, has discovered he forgot to communicate our 2PM appt with his boss. He calls the coop pres and asks her to come in at 2P. She calls me, stressed because its 1230 and this feels like something is wrong. Right? Who calls you to drop everything and come in unless there is a problem?

I am 45 minutes without traffic from my home. The coop is 30 minutes without traffic from my home. If I yank my kiddo out of class right now, I can get home and pull on clean clothes but I won’t be showering. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Murphy, you suck!

Fiendish Friday: TV

What the bleep is wrong with TV these days? Seriously. I just watched all the new seasons that hit netflix in July. For all the shows I really like. And they all feel like they’ve jumped the shark. All of them.

Gone are semi realistic and bad ass fight scenes. Instead with a woosh and swoosh they pull it off and the Queen of England is pinning medals on them.

Actors are leaving shows because they make 10% less than another actor. Guess what, you aren’t the main star, you do less than half the air time but still get 90% of the money? But that isn’t enough for you? Well whaaaa

Gone is the psychological basis. The efforts made to demonstrate how one actually profiles. Instead we get episode after episode of how smart the big bad is and how dumb they are all acting now. I hope Scratch wins. You idiots deserve it. The only one using any logical thinking is the character who left at the end of last season and guest starred for two minutes.

I couldn’t even watch all of last season on some of my shows. They just went sideways immediately.

And then my beloved NCIS…really McGee? Finding out you’re gonna be a dad made you grow a pair so you’ll stay behind and die. Super. And what is with Senior guest starring?No Tony, no Senior. End of story.

Do audiences not want real story lines anymore? Do they not care about character development or substantial plot? I read an article this morning about how audiences just want pretty effects. And I’m afraid. What does this mean for books? For me as an author? Perhaps I was just born too late to be an author.

 

Fiendish Friday: Civilization vs the Primitive Brain

I am a civilized human. I am. I take my coffee with cream. I cook my meat and eat my fish raw. I bathe several times a week. I apply my war paint strategically for attractiveness, not to instill fear in my enemies.  I sew my fur coverings into shapes, rather than fasten them with a bone. I am civilized.

I love my husband for all the civilized reasons. He is funny and he laughs at my jokes which might actually be more important than him being funny. He is kind and so brilliant he makes me look dumb despite my above average IQ. He’s supportive of my crazy desire to be an author. He takes excellent financial care of the family. He treats me like a true partner. We agree on almost all the big picture items, so much so that when we disagree it’s a shock to the system.

But at the end of the day, what I find incredibly sexy at my core, is his ability to rip a 20 foot tall tree out of the ground with his bare hands and a minimum of effort. sigh. Primitive brain talking loud and clear.

You know damn well he would have brought home the woolly mammoth, every time.

Thanks for 12 fabulous years of marriage my darling!

Fiendish Friday: Out of the Mouths of Babes

One of my oldest friend was here to visit with her fam. She has two older children, tweenagers, but they’re super good with my kiddo. He adores them as well.

So one of the things said friend needed to do while here was drive 5 hours one way to visit her dad. I agreed to take her, mainly because her dad lives past Portland and I was hoping for some time for fun. A little Kyra’s, a little Powell’s. Yummy dinner.

Anyway, said friend told me her kids were currently listening to the Twilight series on Audible. So in an effort to prepare my kiddo for the trip, I started explaining that the tweenagers are listening to this book about vampires but they are nice vampires that live with humans.

“That’s just wrong Mom. You can’t change the nature of vampires. It just isn’t right.”